PGCE

I've just sent in my application to do a PGCE in September 2010. It had to be in by December 1st, meaning I needed to get it done before I went away. Which is good really, as otherwise I'd have procrastinated like crazy and ended up not doing the damn thing until about 11pm on November 30th. I've applied for Primary Education (with Modern Languages) so you only get to choose two institutions. In a way it's good because the choice is narrowed down, but what if neither accept me?!

The thought of not getting a place is pretty scary, I don't even want to think about it. What if they don't like my application? Or they meet me in an interview and decide I'm no good? The fact that I'm so worried I won't get a place shows me that this is something I really want to do, that teaching is the right path for me. Unfortunately it doesn't make me any less anxious about whether or not I'll be accepted onto a course!

For my personal statement I wrote a lot about my time at camp and also about going to South Africa and what I am hoping to achieve over there, and probably sound a lot like Alyson Hannigan's character in American Pie (although I swear I have never done anything inappropriate with a flute!). But this is something I care a lot about, something I'm passionate about, and I'm not ashamed of that. For so long all I cared about was food, calories, my weight, my BMI, and there was just nothing beyond that. My world was nothing more than an eating disorder....excuse the pun, but I was literally consumed by it.

My Aunt told me recently that I come alive when I talk about camp, and somehow it does feel like I am coming back to life. There's a whole world out there and I'm only just seeing it for the first time, or seeing it through new eyes. It's bloody scary, but also so exciting. In the past, I've always let the fear overtake the excitement and run back to my eating disorder, but not this time. Life is just too short, there's so much to see and do, and I feel like I've already wasted way too much time by being ill, so I can't afford to waste another second.

Last time I ended with a quote, and I've decided to carry on doing that.....because, well, it's my blog and I can kind of do what I want! So here's another pearl of wisdom for you.....

I could not, at any age, be content to take my place by the fireside and simply look on. Life was meant to be lived. Curiosity must be kept alive. One must never, for whatever reason, turn his back on life.

 ~ Eleanor Roosevelt