I deliberately stopped writing for a little while after I came home - I needed time to process everything, to think properly, to reflect on my time at Children of Hope. The whole experience seems like another world now and I actually miss the children I worked with an awful lot. There were days when the children and the school felt like a test of my endurance, and I suppose I have seen that I am stronger than I ever realised, and that I can push myself really far and not crack. I saw some amazing things in South Africa, met some incredible people and learned a lot about myself. The pictures below are of me with Sophie and Ntombie, the teachers at Children of Hope, and with some of the other volunteers on my last night in Fish Hoek, 18 long weeks ago.
Lots has changed since I came home. I managed to get a place at Manchester Metropolitan University to do a PGCE in Primary Education with French, which I am absolutely delighted about. However, some things have not changed as I still have an eating disorder. Right now it's not something I want to think about or deal with. There have been small changes and I can do things that a year ago I wasn't able to even consider doing, but in some ways I am not a long way from where I was when I was admitted to hospital last May. The main difference however is that I now have a reason to fight, which I didn't really have a year ago. To teach, I need to be healthy and well, physically and mentally. And despite what I insist, I am neither.......yet.
Anything that's worth having is sure enough worth fighting for. Quitting's out of the question, when it gets tough gotta fight some more. ~Cheryl Cole
